Day 21 : Possession 3

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that in my everyday life possessions, my momentary possessions that I go into, I will notice that there are the background thoughts or back chats in a dialogue that comes up that says these thoughts are so overwhelming or I'm so stuck in these emotions or I can't seem to get out of this.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and be aware of the background thoughts or back chats in a dialogue that comes up when I am in a possession like : " Ohh I am an other time in this possession", "I will never get out of this possession loop", "how I can stop and get out?" ...

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that in a possession what happens is literally in front of my head, by the forehead area, I've got all the conscious, subconscious mind thoughts and back chats coming up, for example about a moment that transpired with another person where I really reacted to them emotionally and my thoughts are running all over the place, my projections, my experiences. But then at the same time in the back of my head there's more thoughts in my dialogue, back chats coming up about what is coming up in my conscious and subconscious mind. So in a way there's two parts of me within the mind that's communicating with each other and it's fascinating that it's these background thoughts and back chats that's actually keeping me within the forefront thoughts, back chats and experiences.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to look at and drop the background thoughts and back chats about the momentary possession or the experience of my mind that I find myself within, and so I can get to that space and moment of stepping back within myself and actually direct the thoughts and back chats.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand how it is this very relationship that manifests within my mind that can keep me in a long term possession within myself where I do not then step out of the forefront and the background thoughts and back chats and the experience within me and stays in that and then it's a constant kind of inner wrestling within myself where I am essentially keeping myself trapped within my own mind, my own possession.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how there are glimpses of moments where I am aware and I see that I am in a possession but then I just go back into the possession and then I fight back again or I react in some way or another.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see myself in a possession; to take a breath, forgive the background and forefront thoughts and step out from the possession.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to practice that significant moment of self honesty where I know I am in a possession and breathe and slow down and forgive myself and then look at what happened within myself to trigger or activate that possession, and so I can assist and support myself out of it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that the one significant point right there, that moment of self honesty where I fall that allows me to remain within the possession.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by an addiction in my mind. Meaning that a moment happened where again reactions toward a trigger of addiction, and I've been holding on to those reactions in my  mind and bolted up over time to this day even when a trigger come I go full on possession within myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to open up all the different levels and dimensions of possession.  I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that if I only work with one dimension of possession, it's going to be still quite easy to go into other levels and dimensions of possession in my mind if I do not recognize them or see them.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that  another definition of possession that I can look at is another part of me being trapped within parts, constructs, systems, programs within the mind. So if I've got a memory  inside myself that I keep on reacting to and going into a state of possession toward, then I am possessed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the beginning, I have a strong part within myself that can self honestly see, yes I can feel I am reacting and experience it, but, there comes in the justifications, excuses, reasons, validations, all of that that additionally keeps me stuck within a possession.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that  there is three major parts or dimensions that contribute to maintaining a possession because even in these situations or instances, I have got the thoughts and the back chats about what I am possessed to do in the forefront right there by the forehead, I have still got the talking going on in the background about, oh my god, I'm so tired of all these thoughts and these experiences and so much, it's so intense, I can't get out of it. Then right in the middle of my head, there I've got the justifications, excuses, reasons, validations for why I am remaining within this possession.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that  there's three parts of me separated just in my head talking to each other. Because it jumps between all three where I first go into all the thoughts and back chats, then go back into, oh my goodness, so many thoughts, so many emotions can't do this and then jump into the middle which goes, but they did this, this, and this, and this, and that, and then that leads me again to the forefront and then I jump around in my mind. And that is what creates the total possession.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to practice looking out for all those justifications, the butts, the yes, the, but they, and them, the blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  remains in this state of possession for weeks, and for months, and in doing so that little flame or light of self honesty does start diminishing because more and more of myself starts going into this possession, this program, this pattern and system to the extent where I start completely believing what my thoughts say to me, what my back chats say to me, what my experiences say to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for becoming more of my mind in the sense that I devolve in my relationship with my mind to the level of actually believing that my thoughts are my own, I can't make that assessment or distinguishing within myself of realizing, but these thoughts are coming up from somewhere or these emotions are created from some trigger or activation. So I completely channel myself into purely the conscious mind.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that what’s defines a possession is me completely channeled in my conscious mind. I then have no reference to my subconscious or unconscious. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to when I go into these massive thoughts, back chats and reactions, Stop and say okay, look, I've got to take a breath, take a step back and look at  where do they come from? I  know that my conscious subconscious mind information is coming from somewhere deeper.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  take what's coming up in my immediate thoughts and back chats at face value, like that is it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that  if I start going deeper into my mind, understanding how my thoughts and emotions and back chats and things work, I'll realize that my conscious mind, what I am aware of consciously is more translated from deeper things that's going on inside myself. that’s not really the truth of it all, actually something completely different or something else, something more going on inside myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gets to that point right there, when I am so completely channeled into my conscious mind, where I believe my thoughts, I listen to them, I speak them and I am unable to listen to what anyone else actually says. But even then I  do, I do know. But the problem there is that that flame of self honesty is so, it's basically just flickering that it just gets so easy to kind of for a quantum moment, yes, grasp what another person is saying to support me, but just immediately shift back into my conscious mind possession.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reaches that state, where  I am choosing my own path, because there is no way that I am  going to be able to listen to or hear myself or another individual who's trying to show me my minds, in terms of guiding me through my conscious into my subconscious and unconscious mind, I was not hearing at all, because I was not here, no part of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed that mind possession comes through me, and actually sends out an existential process signal of me going to now have to walk the more physical process, life consequence process, world process to get to essentially in a more consequential way, like that what's did  happen is I did gone to be literally bumping my head almost like against a wall, but it's like I am not seeing that the wall is there. So after some time my head's kind of start to hurt and I did go, oh, no, I see there is actually a wall here, so internalizing that,  I am going to be trying to create myself or my life with my thoughts or my experiences or how I see myself and how I see others, but reality is going to, it's going to be like bumping my head against the wall and I am going to realize it's not working, everything's going haywire, so much consequence, so much problems to eventually open my eyes inside and go, oh my goodness, oh, okay, now I see, it's been my thoughts, my relationship with my thoughts, I must look into this and I can walk a process of bringing myself back to awareness and realization.

I forgive myself that I  have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that why it happens this particular way is that I may be my being, I may be channeled into the conscious mind only, but then what happens is the subconscious unconscious quantum mind, the deeper levels of my mind then start shifting deeper into the physical, it literally goes into suppression in waiting almost, because I am emphasizing my conscious mind to such an extent, so much of my  being gets channeled into the pure conscious mind possession, that I am on the surface levels of my mind and body, so much space for the rest of my mind, so the rest of the mind just shift back into suppression, conscious mind just takes over and because it suppresses into the physical, my mind becomes more physical in the way, and so in that process I am actually myself creating more of a physical process that I need to walk. It means that I am not, there's nothing of my being almost left to walk a process through realization, through insights, through understanding.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to  remember, if I look at how much of my process has actually more been walked internally, and from the internal, it started changing in the external, that was because I had so much, it's called substance of my being, of my awareness within me that enabled me to look at my thoughts, look at my back chats, look at my emotions, my life and reflect on it, introspect, change within to change without, but if I do not have that substance of my being or awareness inside of me at all, I can't walk my process in that way, so then I am going to have to walk it in a physical way, so therefore these paths.

I commit myself to when and as I go into these massive thoughts, back chats and reactions, Stop and say okay, look, I've got to take a breath, take a step back and look at  where do they come from? I  know that my conscious subconscious mind information is coming from somewhere deeper.

I commit myself to look at and drop the background thoughts and back chats about the momentary possession or the experience of my mind that I find myself within, and so I can get to that space and moment of stepping back within myself and actually direct the thoughts and back chats.

I commit myself to when and as I am aware and I see that I am in a possession even in a glimpses of moment, STOP breath sound or write self forgiveness  of the background thoughts and backchats and the energy I experience in the moment. And live the word self movement.

I commit myself to practice that significant moment of self honesty where I know I am in a possession and breathe and slow down and forgive myself and then look at what happened within myself to trigger or activate that possession, and sound or write self forgiveness on the background/forehead/center head thoughts, backchats, all energy I am experiencing, the triggers that activate the possession. So I can assist and support myself to get out of the possession.

I commit myself to practice looking out for all those justifications, the butts, the yes, the, but they, and them, the blame. That comes in the center of my head while I was in a possession and write them and do self forgiveness about them.

I commit myself to Stand in that one significant point , that moment of self honesty where I see myself in a possession.

I commit myself to  practice looking if I  can see those three different dimensions in the moment of possession where I think about the memory, then a part of me is talking about what I am experiencing, and then the justifications, excuses and reasons and how that trinity kind of keeps me in this state.

I commit myself to  look at and just reflecting on my process and even having a look back in more long-term possessions, how I were so in it that I to a certain extent needed to walk it physically to walk that process of just bumping my head a couple of times or more, like it's also like bumping my toe, a couple of times over and over again until I go, okay, wait, I've got to do something about this now.