Day 107 : Ending the Mind's Control and Reclaiming My Life

Who Is Still in Control?

When I ask myself, Is the mind still in control?

 I immediately see that the question itself already hides the real point: I am the one accepting and allowing the mind to be in control.  It is not that the mind has some independent power. It is that I am still automatically accepting its movements, reactions, interpretations, fears, desires, energies as me. 

So the real question is: 

Why am I still accepting and allowing this?

 I see that when the mind feels overwhelming, the overwhelmingness itself is something I participate in. It doesn't appear magically. I have to agree with the thoughts, feelings, fears, internal conversations that feed the experience of overwhelm. I see that I am the one *deciding* the overwhelmingness not consciously at first, but through habitual acceptance: * I accept the reaction of stress.

I accept the thought it s too much.

I accept the fear of failing.

I accept the desire to escape.

And then I call this acceptance the mind controlling me. But it s actually *me

creating and feeding it. So is the mind difficult? No. What is difficult is my addiction to it, my loyalty to old patterns, and the comfort I take in blaming the mind so that I don t have to take directive responsibility.

Process feels difficult when I resist seeing my responsibility.

 When I ask: Who decides the mind? I see:

I do.

 I decide when I follow it. I decide when I believe it. I decide when I give it authority. What is the mind? It is simply the sum of my accepted and allowed thoughts, memories, energies, reactions, habits, desires, fears repeated long enough that they became automatic. Who is the mind? It is the version of me I programmed through years of acceptance and allowance. So the mind is not separate from me. But also:

I am not limited to the mind.

 I am the one who can *stop* participating. Bernard always said:

 If you created the mind, you can un-create it.

 But that requires an agreement with myself. A decision to define the relationship clearly: I am the directive principle. The mind is a tool, not the master. Energy is not intelligence. Thought is not identity. So who am I in the mind right now? I am someone who still shifts between awareness and unconscious participation someone who still sometimes fears the mind because I believe its reactions are bigger than me. But that belief is exactly the acceptance that keeps the mind in control. Does the mind decide who I am? Only when I let it. Do I decide who the mind is? Only when I stand stable in breath and direct it. Are both the same? Yes and no. The mind is me but only the me that I accepted and allowed through time. Awareness is also me the me that stands here in breath, physical, stable, directive. This writing shows me that the core point is:

I must redefine the relationship. Not from fear of the mind, but from responsibility for the mind.

 Because I created it. And that means I can direct it. 

 

Deep Self-Forgiveness: Who Is in Control?

This self-forgiveness is designed for real release, not comfort. You can read it out loud slowly, with breathing, one statement at a time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the mind is in control of me, instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am the one accepting and allowing the mind to direct me through my participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my own mind and to believe that it has a power over me that I cannot change, when in fact it is only my repeated acceptance and allowance that gives it power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the mind, to fear my own reactions, and to fear my thoughts, instead of realizing that fearing something I created is me fearing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed by the mind, instead of realizing that the overwhelmingness is something I am deliberately participating in through believing thoughts and feeding emotional energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the overwhelmingness just happens to me, instead of seeing how I create it moment by moment through my acceptance, interpretation, and reaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the experience of it s too much, I can t handle this, and this is difficult, without questioning who is speaking these words inside me and without questioning why I accept them as truth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make process difficult, instead of seeing that what I call difficulty is actually my resistance to taking responsibility for every point I have created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the mind for my difficulty in process instead of realizing that I am the one deciding whether I stand or whether I give in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give the mind authority by believing its reactions are real, meaningful, or powerful, instead of seeing that they are automated programs I myself created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the mind as something separate from me, instead of realizing that the mind is the manifested accumulation of every thought, emotion, reaction, memory, desire, and fear I have accepted and allowed throughout my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility by saying the mind did this or the mind is in control, instead of seeing that this is me avoiding facing my own directive power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the mind s reactions energy, fear, imagination, stress because it feels familiar and automatic, and to use this addiction as an excuse to not stand up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the mind is stronger than me, instead of realizing that the mind is only as strong as the amount of energy I feed into it through belief and participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stopping the mind because stopping would mean facing who I really am without justification, without feelings, without energy and that level of responsibility scares me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the mind, to believe that the mind s thoughts and reactions are who I am, and to not see that they only represent who I have accepted and allowed myself to be not who I can be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that I created the mind through years of repeated participation and that therefore I can also un-create and re-create myself in alignment with life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not establish a clear agreement with myself regarding my relationship with my mind an agreement where I stand as the directive principle and the mind is a tool, not the master.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ask myself the real, self-honest question: Who decides who I am in every moment the mind or me?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid this question because answering it self-honestly means I must stop blaming the mind and start taking full responsibility for my creation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear owning that I am the creator of my mind, because it means I must own that I am also responsible for changing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist discovering who I am without the mind because part of me still identifies with the chaos, energy, fear, and beliefs as my comfort zone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that self-honesty starts with redefining my relationship with the mind not from suppression, not from fear, but from responsibility and directive principle.

 

Self-Corrective Application Becoming the Directive Principle

When and as I see myself going into the belief that the mind is in control, I stop, I breathe, and I remind myself that the mind can only move through my participation, and therefore I am the directive principle. I bring myself back to the physical moment.

When and as I see myself reacting with overwhelm, heaviness, pressure, or it s too much, I stop and breathe. I stabilize my body. I focus on one physical task in front of me. I realize overwhelmingness is not real it is a participation I am stopping.

When and as I see myself feeding the thought this is difficult, I stop. I realize difficulty is a decision, not a fact. I direct myself to do one small step in the physical rather than going into energy.

When and as I see myself giving authority to thoughts, emotions, or fears I stop, breathe, and say within myself: I decide who I am here. Not the thought. Not the energy. Then I move myself physically according to what needs to be done.

When and as I see myself shifting into blame blaming the mind, the system, energy, reactions I stop. I bring the point back to myself. I remind myself: I created it, I can direct it.

When and as I see myself going into automatic patterns, especially stress, fear, doubt, or avoidance I slow down deliberately. I breathe deeper. I stand within my body. I choose directive presence instead of automated energy.

When and as I see myself falling into the belief that the mind is stronger than me, I stop and breathe. I remind myself: The mind is only as strong as the energy I give it. And I am no longer feeding it. Then I physically redirect myself into clarity and stability.

When and as I see myself fearing the mind or fearing stopping the mind I stop. I realize there is nothing to fear in something I created myself. I stand firm in breath and choose awareness over fear.

When and as I see myself merging with thoughts believing they are me I stop and breathe. I re-establish the separation: I am here in the physical. The thought is a program. I direct it.

When and as I see myself resisting taking responsibility for a point, I stop and breathe. I push through the resistance physically even with a small movement because resistance is the mind s last attempt to stay in control.

When and as I see myself tempted to rely on energy to move me (stress, fear, excitement, pressure), I stop. I move myself from physical self-direction: slow, stable, clear. I no longer allow energy to be the source of movement.

When and as I see myself wanting to escape into the mind scrolling, fantasizing, imagining, thinking I stop and breathe. I bring myself back to what is physically here. I commit to being present with my body instead of escaping into energy.

When and as I see myself at the beginning of the day or beginning of a task, I place an agreement with myself: I direct the mind today. The mind does not direct me. And I live this agreement in breath, moment by moment.

When and as I see myself in self-doubt doubting my ability to direct the mind I stop and breathe. I remind myself: If I created it, I can direct it. And I prove this to myself with immediate physical action.

 

Self-Commitment Statements

I commit myself to stand as the directive principle of my mind, my body, and my life no longer accepting or allowing thoughts, emotions, or fears to define who I am.

I commit myself to stop giving the mind authority through belief, fear, or reaction, and to walk moment by moment in breath as the one who decides.

I commit myself to no longer accept overwhelmingness as real. I direct myself to slow down, breathe, and move one step at a time until I stand stable and clear.

I commit myself to stop the habit of calling process difficult, and instead to walk each point practically, physically, breath by breath, without energy, without excuses.

I commit myself to take absolute responsibility for every thought, emotion, reaction, and pattern within me because I created it, and therefore I am the one who can change it.

I commit myself to stop blaming the mind for my experiences. I stand within the understanding that the mind is a reflection of my own acceptances and allowances, and therefore I direct it instead of fearing it.

I commit myself to stop participating in energy positive or negative as the source of my movement, and to place my movement in physical self-direction.

I commit myself to remain here, in my body, in breath, even when the mind pushes for reaction, fear, or escape especially then.

I commit myself to redefine my relationship with the mind from fear and separation to responsibility and directive living.

I commit myself to walk my process with stability, consistency, and self-honesty, even when resistance arises because resistance is only a programmed point that I no longer accept.

I commit myself to question every belief, every automatic thought, every emotional pull, and to investigate whether it supports life or supports the mind's automation and I choose life.

I commit myself to remain real and self-honest with myself about who I am in every moment, stopping all self-deception, justification, blame, and energetic interpretation.

I commit myself to stand equal to the mind not less than it, not more than it and to direct it as the tool it was designed to be.

I commit myself to walk this process until there is no point left within me that is accepted and allowed out of habit, fear, or energy until I stand as life in every breath.