Day 116 : Re-establishing Relationship: Self-Forgiveness into Living Equality





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a relationship with my father only as an idea in my mind, instead of a living physical interaction here. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use distance, silence, and non-communication as protection, while in fact using them to avoid responsibility. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my father through past memories, judgments, and emotional charges, instead of seeing him as a human being equal to me in this physical reality. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for feelings of readiness, emotional clarity, or inner resolution before taking action, instead of realizing that action is what creates change, not emotions. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself either below my father, as a child seeking validation, or above him, as a judge withholding contact and in both cases refusing equality. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the past as justification to not live the present. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that silence is neutral, while silence is in fact a decision to not participate. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing here openly as myself, without blame, without superiority, without inferiority. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that relationship must first be emotionally resolved before it can be lived.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid communication under the pretense of nothing to say, instead of recognizing that presence itself is communication. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that equality does not require agreement, but physical presence without superiority or inferiority. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that Unity does not mean fusion, emotional dependence, or shared beliefs. Unity means recognizing that we are the same in physical substance. 


Self-Corrective Commitment 

When and as I see myself going into silence, avoidance, or mental justification toward my father, I stop. I breathe. I remind myself that relationship exists only where there is physical action. 

I commit myself to no longer waiting for the mind to align before I act. I commit myself to communicate in real time, without agenda, without expectation, without emotional manipulation. 

I commit myself to stand as an equal human being not as a wounded child and not as a superior judge.

I commit myself to re-establish relationship through simple, practical actions: contact, consistency, and presence. 

I commit myself to no longer use distance as protection, but to build self-trust through responsible action.

 I commit myself to live equality as presence without superiority or inferiority. 

I commit myself to recognizing that we are the same in physical substance 

I commit myself to live unity and equality not as concepts, but as who I am in how I move, speak, and relate. 

I commit myself to understand that when I change, the relationship changes not because the other must adapt, but because I stop participating in separation.

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