Day 26 : Dealing with Anxiety

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety as a relatively permanent state of worry and nervousness occurring in a variety of mental disorders, usually accompanied by compulsive behavior or attacks of panic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anxiety when I don't understand something

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety as a vague unpleasant emotion that is experienced in anticipation of some  ill-defined misfortune.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anxiety when I don't want to do something

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the energy of anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that anxiety as an energy that is experienced more like something undefined it's like there in my solar plexus and it has a slightly intense vibration or field to it and it feels like it turns. Its  like a few little circles, very close together and it's like each one of those circles are moving in a different direction and that's kind of like how the energy of anxiety is experienced in the solar plexus like all these little energy balls it's kind of vibrating and moving different directions at the same time and it also within that gives off a resonance of restlessness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that anxiety is interestingly enough very close to fear however, anxiety is a lot more concentrated within the solar plexus and a lot more concentrated as well as intense in its vibration it's got more of like an electrical field to it as well, fear has got more of an expansive range in how it affects my solar plexus chest and physical body fear has got like a constrictive field to it in how it feels like my heart kind of skips a beat for a moment and my internal organs are contracting and my chest feels a bit closed and my whole body is going into uncomfortability that's what fear can do but anxiety is really a lot more focused only in my solar plexus and is stretching up from my solar plexus into my chest area. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that anxiety is more concentrated in it's range and  it's  reach in the physical body is not as extreme in an instant as fear is. Obviously I do get the more extreme form of anxiety which in a moment it feels like electrical shocks releasing from my solar plexus into my chest and like these very small miniature jets that's like taking off from my solar plexus into my chest area into my mind and then it resonates out into the entire physical. 

So I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that anxiety has definitely got more of like an electrical current to it concentrated more intense and fear is more overall and deep in it's reach within the physical body 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that for most parts anxiety is like a baby energy. And with baby energy I mean that it like comes out in like these small spontaneous bursts every so now and then within various contexts  I'd be approaching someone to talk to them and oh dear lord there comes anxiety and it's concentrated in my solar plexus and I can feel like these electrical currents being created as all these little balls are moving into all sorts of directions and it feels like it's rising and jets are taking off into my chest area and then it can accumulate but it's quite fascinating how that initial experience of the energy in my solar plexus like accumulates from my solar plexus into my chest area it feels really like these small balls of electrical current moving up and up and up and can within that create the nervousness or fear.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand how anxiety dependent on how it is that I participate in it meaning it's quite interesting how anxiety as an energy will start but there won't be a particular context of it I won't be able to immediately necessarily identify like thoughts or backchats or imaginations or things that come up it's like I am just walking to a human there's the anxiety and I am like why? what is this? oh I feel so uncomfortable and anxiety can really make me feel uncomfortable as well like there's something in my stomach that I just want to settle down but it doesn't want to. And then from there dependent on the intensity or experience of anxiety and the context of the situation and what memories will be stimulated in my unconscious, will determine whether that anxiety then accumulates into nervousness or fear or even like worry or concern or stress or panic.

 I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that anxiety is and functions quite fascinatingly in its relationship to the mind and other energies as well that one or that exist within one's personalities or characters within one's mind or consciousness in the sense that anxiety is an energy that gets activated from a quantum mind quantum physical level it is not particularly existent within emotional or feeling bodies within my characters or personalities. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that anxiety is an energy that serves as a platform to stimulate the gross of other emotions or feelings so  anxiety as an energy is like these little balls that's fueled with an electrical current that at the same time move in various directions within this what happens is that it thus serves as a platform to activate another emotion and feeling because  anxiety is not substantiated with a particular specific energy substance it is more like small electrical currents that are contained that give that electrifying sensation within my solar plexus that vibration like the physical in itself almost is going into an anxiety like in a way being attacked by these electrical currents so within this the anxiety will come and then what my consciousness will do is from my physical eyes imprint physical reality into my consciousness assess that physical reality moment because the anxiety is now there and then see what memories something or someone that I am approaching can be activated or connected to and or first and foremost what personality systems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I am walking toward a person that has a particular stance of authority and I do not handle or deal with authority very well at all so within that the anxiety first comes and then my consciousness take the physical reality moment see ooo this person is authoritative nice let's see where is my personality systems in relationship to authority awesome I've got a whole personality or character system in relationship to authority activate that and the main energy in my relationship to authority is fear and so then what will happen is the personality or character system will activate centralize itself into my mind self physical body the fear will connect to the anxiety and then the anxiety will fuse with the fear energy and give that fear energy more of a hold a boost within my mind self physical relationship so that while I am speaking with that human being I am in a constant continuous state of anxiety and fear.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand this infusion of energy process  that happens quite a lot and sometimes I feel like no matter how much I am breathing no matter how much I am trying to stop and stabilize myself it's like the energy doesn't want to stop that's because what's happening in that moment is I am dealing with maybe two three or four energies at the same time and I am maybe focusing on only one and then the rest is still continuing so that's why it then becomes difficult to stop because I am then trying to stop only one energy and in that trying to stop the one energy which is actually interconnected to all the other energies, the other energies win because it's like going to be two against one or three against one. And I am going to essentially create a point of survival within the energies itself then the rest of the energies which I didn't identify in that moment is really going to fuel and charge themselves even more because I have now kind of got hold of the one energy that empowered them even more so it becomes like a battle between self and the energies and for most part one will unfortunately lose that battle because I am not equal to one with or in direct principle or understanding of energy and so therefore in that it has the ability to control direct and influence me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that this is why I would for example be able to experience anxiety and fear at the same time it's how energies infuse and within that assist and support themselves for most part emotional and feeling energies like anxiety because the anxiety energy in itself serves as the platform to enhance and electrify the emotional feeling energies even more 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to have look at for example approaching another human being that I found attractive or interesting and see that what actually first comes up is anxiety and in that my consciousness have a look at the reality context imprinted into my consciousness into my unconscious mind search for memories or characters or personalities finds a relationship character or personality with it's main energy as desire and there the desire infuse with anxiety and the anxiety is electrical current then supercharge the desire even more And see because I am so much more within my conscious and subconscious mind than I mean not even speaking of the unconscious quantum mind quantum physical and physical body I don't even realize the root of what had just boosted that energy is in fact anxiety and I for example more focus on the desire or the fear when where that fear and desire is rooted within is anxiety

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to ask the  question ok but then what is anxiety?

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that anxiety is what consciousness use when in a moment of interaction with reality there are so many dimensions and dynamics involved that it can move my mind into various characters or personalities or activate various memories so much so that consciousness needs to shift you into a dimension for a moment into an energy for a moment such as anxiety so that it can use the time to analyze and assess what character or personality would be most beneficial for itself for you to be or become within that moment for it to resource the utmost potential within how I am going to be or how consciousness is going to direct me to be reacting to this particular something or someone in an emotion or a feeling and that's why like in taking the example of the authority figure there may be in my life experience various contexts of authority figures to which I have various reactions it's not like to all authority figures you have the exact same fear reaction they vary so what consciousness will do is multi-dimensional it will bring forth the anxiety for a moment to kind of create like a space and time for itself to go into my subconscious, unconscious, quantum mind quantum physical see which character or personality or fear of authority does it require me to become in terms of what would serve as the most potential for me to react and in that reaction generate energy and or consciousness will base the decision on which character or personality is connected to other characters or personalities and other systems within consciousness and the mind that actually needs a particular frequency or substance or amount of energy and so it will thus use that also as a reference in terms of which character or personality will direct me into being and becoming so that a specific type of energy of emotional feeling can be activated so that's why anxiety comes up that is what the purpose of anxiety really.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that the purpose of anxiety really in fact is to keep me busy in an energy for a moment while consciousness decides what character or personality I am going to be and become and with what particular frequency or substance or intensity of emotional or feeling reaction am I going to react and it's like for example the same with meeting someone that I am attracted to and first anxiety comes because I've created so many different dimensions in relation to relationships and sex and sexuality that consciousness is to see which memories it can activate, which personalities will be most effective in relation to this particular human being that match my memories and my database of relationships, sex and sexuality first comes the anxiety and then what builds up from there is the desire the moment that desire builds up  okay, consciousness decided on a personality and character for me the same with the fear where I first react in anxiety and the moment the fear comes consciousness decided on a character or personality for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that what is quite substantial for consciousness in relation to anxiety is that it also reduces time in the sense that if it didn't have that initial point of anxiety because the anxiety is brought up which means that there's already an energy electrical current relationship to my physical body so from there consciousness only has to connect a fear for example to that anxiety and then the fear can immediately build but if the anxiety wasn't there it'll have to like first bring up lots of thoughts and lots of memories and imaginations and kind of okay, think, participate in these thoughts and these backchats and these imaginations charge and generate it, get the fear going, it would take some time so to shortcut that whole entire process consciousness brings in anxiety there's already a root connection between the energy and physicality just pop in the fear there the fear gets immediately accumulated because it infuses through the anxiety into the physical body and then immediately resource energy and I am overwhelmed by fear or I  desire working exactly equally as one the same way alright so here is the primary function and purpose for anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that my consciousness moves so fast that I cannot in any way see yet at this stage what character or personality or memories or emotions or feelings my consciousness is going to shift me into the moment anxiety comes up so as a forewarning for walking this process in relationship to anxiety and the energies that get attached to it. So I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not take it personally when I am not able to stop and release the anxiety immediately in a moment and even if I attempt and try to do it that what still happens is there is an alignment where it goes into an emotion feeling and before I know it I am in a personality or character possession so this particular relationship to anxiety is it's going to take time because I mean consciousness really BAM in an instant brings up that anxiety and it's there before I know BAM I am in fear or desire BAM my thoughts are coming my imaginations and BAM I am in a behavioral physical pattern design and oh my god I am overwhelmed by everything. So I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to in this process to really take it slowly but surely I cannot unnecessarily be hard on myself and that it's going to take time practice dedication and discipline to really  get under this relationship to energy so that I can stop it even before it comes up , because there is a quantum moment when energy moves makes like this resonant it almost has like that if I  take a pen and I really quickly draw on a piece of paper like drawing on the same line over and over and over again it does that movement in the physical body and then the energy comes so ideally eventually. So I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to get my awareness in relationship to the physical body to such a point where I will feel who energy is trying to create itself I'll just nip it in the butt right there and then I stabilize my relationship to that specific physical point and not even allow the energy to be created.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to make a list of no more than 5 instances, 5 being the maximum, 3 being the minimum of where in my  life experience I find myself still go into anxiety  where anxiety first come and there is fear or irritation or desire or frustration or panic or worry or stress or concern but see I know where, toward who, what, when, where, why I react in anxiety. And  simply write a description for example when standing on a stage speaking to people definitely anxiety starts there when I speak to people in authority I mean when I approach them the anxiety starts coming actually what is important to include here is when, what is the moment that the anxiety comes like walking on a stage and speaking in front of people so the anxiety comes just thinking about it seeing myself on that stage speaking, anxiety comes that's fine, write it down authority figures it's when I see them and I walk up to them that I find the anxiety comes driving in a fast car the moment the speed accelerates the anxiety comes so I want to be as specific as I can to note down the moment the anxiety comes because that is the moment that I want to capture because that is where I am going to assist and support in showing me how to start practicing and applying this point of stopping that anxiety which is like anxiety is quite a cool reference point actually because the thing is basically that anxiety means consciousness is in the process of deciding for you who you are going to be so why not use that moment for me to decide who I am going to be so within this it is a very cool point that I am going to be using in my process and consciousness is going to challenge me, 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that, that of me that is always decided for me who I am going to be is going to challenge me, meaning that if my decision in that moment when the anxiety comes up is not absolute, is not like this is who I am in this moment consciousness is still going to choose a character or personality for me it is going to step in step into the center of myself saying sorry you have got to move over definitely not good enough for who, how and what I am and so one can utilize these instances as a cross reference for myself or when I am absolutely standing and when I am not because consciousness will kind of still come in and step in and say screw it over I am the authority in this body.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand what is  this cross reference of utilizing my relationship to anxiety to practice my stand within who I am because consciousness is not going to back down if I don't stand in equal and even better measure than itself and if I am  not going to take direct principle of me, it will gladly do it for me with the consequences.

 **Self-Commitment Statements:**

1. **Commitment to Awareness and Presence:** I commit myself to become aware of the sensations and energy movements in my body, especially when anxiety arises, and to remain present and grounded in these moments.

2. **Commitment to Understanding Triggers:** I commit myself to identify and understand the specific triggers and contexts that bring up anxiety, noting the moments when anxiety starts and the related thoughts, feelings, and memories.

3. **Commitment to Breathing and Stabilization:** I commit myself to practice conscious breathing and grounding techniques when I experience anxiety, using these moments as opportunities to stabilize myself and prevent the escalation of energy.

4. **Commitment to Self-Directive Principle:** I commit myself to take responsibility for my reactions and to direct myself in moments of anxiety, deciding who I am and how I will respond, rather than allowing consciousness to dictate my reactions.

5. **Commitment to Gradual Practice and Patience:** I commit myself to approach this process with patience and dedication, understanding that it will take time to develop the ability to stop and redirect anxiety before it escalates into other emotions or reactions.

6. **Commitment to Non-Judgment:** I commit myself to refrain from judging myself when I experience anxiety or struggle to manage it, recognizing that this is part of my process of self-understanding and transformation.

7. **Commitment to Self-Understanding:** I commit myself to explore the underlying beliefs and fears associated with my anxiety, using these insights to develop self-corrective actions and change my relationship with authority, fear, desire, and other emotions.

8. **Commitment to Creating a Supportive Environment:** I commit myself to create a supportive environment for myself by identifying and addressing any patterns of thought or behavior that contribute to anxiety, and by cultivating self-support and self-care and self direction.