Day 34 : Obsession part 1

 

 I forgive myself that I have paccepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with a way of thinking, a way of viewing, a way of looking at, for example, myself, others, situations, experiences within myself, or in everyday life, or the people who I participate. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that with any given word, like for example, obsession, there are so many different variations of it in relation to how obsession can come to manifest within myself, my relationship with myself, my relationship with others, situations, experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my own mind, to be obsessed within and as, and so possessed by, a particular pattern or program or system within myself. 

 I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to have a look at the nature of obsession when it comes to my own mind, being obsessed within and as, and so possessed by, a particular pattern or program or system within myself. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to clearly see the connection or relationship between possession and obsession.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to  have a look at what is the first thing that comes to my mind when I have a look at the word obsession. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that with the word obsession, the first thing that come up within me is sex relationships, being obsessed with someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have sex and relationship as obsessions.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to look deeper within myself and just go through my memories, my life and see where obsession had played a role.

I commit myself to look deeper within myself and just go through my memories, my life and see where obsession had played a role.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to  describe what is the nature of obsession and  define obsession. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that what I experience with obsession on a physical level within the chest area, right in the center of the chest is a tightening that happens and almost taking my breath away. Like that experience that I have if I breathe in quite fast, at pressure in my chest, that's the physical experience that obsession creates. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed obsession to literally breathes in and pulls in my  being and also within pulling in my being it channels it into a dome like system within the center of my mind and holds me inside of it.

 Because fascinatingly enough, 

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that   obsession is not something natural to my beingnesses. My  beingnesses, my natural inherent nature when it comes to, for example, my relationship with myself, my relationship with others is more in alignment with seeing the more, the potential within myself, within others in a way where I, in reflecting back way in the beginning within the interdimensional, dimensional existence before the creation of heaven and earth, I never, let's say, honed on or focused on or intently became obsessed with one thing. I always wanted to, in a way, expand, learn, grow, see how much more there is to everything and everyone. So in a way, I would always multitask, working on various creations, relationships, processes at the same time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be honed on or focused on or intently became obsessed with one thing. Instead of always multitask, working on various creations, relationships, processes at the same time.

 I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that Obsession does the exact opposite. And it's interesting because on a beingness level, it creates a sense of claustrophobia within the physical body and within the mind because this system of obsession really pulls me in and literally, with almost this force, holds me in this dome, in this space within my mind. And to define that nature of the very system of obsession in relation to what it does, it's like it forcibly says to me, you are going to stay in this state, in this obsession. You're not going to move from this, from the system. So, it's like that feeling. Also, it's like someone holding me by the shoulders, like kind of shaking me, saying, this is your place, this is your position, this is your space. You're going to stay and remain here as is and you will not move. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that Obsession  also uses, interestingly enough, a level of fear.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to ventur into the processes of the quantum mind, the quantum physical, physical mind, beingness programming processes,  and  become more aware of the real deeper experiences that my mind creates on a being level and physical level within obsession.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize andunderstand that  what gets channeled as well into that dome like system within my mind is the thing or person that I become obsessed with, or obsessed by. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that  obsession is a very one dimensional tunnel vision focus on one or very few things within myself or my life where the rest of my mind, I can see how, interestingly enough, the moment the obsession system activates, the rest of my conscious, subconscious, unconscious mind information, thought patterns, everything gets suppressed. And it's like this dome with that one or few things within myself and my life gets folded.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to the moment the obsession system activates, the rest of my conscious, subconscious, unconscious mind information, thought patterns, everything gets suppressed. And it's like this dome with that one or few things within myself and my life gets folded. And that then becomes my more centralized mind, that where I will only then focus my thoughts, reactions, experiences on those one or few things, and that's it. 

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that there is always a natural in the context of the mind consciousness system, a natural level of obsession that does exist from the perspective that there are some things that can preoccupy my mind day in and day out. It's the same or similar thing over and over and over again. But despite that, I do still have a relatively healthy and again healthy in the context of the mind consciousness system, a relatively healthy balance from the perspective that I am still stimulated by everyday life things that I respond to or react to or think about or experience. Other times I am doing physical activities or cooking or baking or doing my everyday life basic needs and then my mind goes to different places. So there is that natural healthy balance of busyness in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the more extreme possessions where my mind literally just the whole time thinks about one or few things like a handful, even less. My mind does not think about anything else, no matter what I am doing in my physical reality, my thoughts, backchats, projections over and over again cycle within the same or similar processes. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand How can I be so obsessed within a mind pattern or program or system within myself that while I am doing my everyday life basic needs, I think about the same things? Or when I am walking or driving or working, same things are happening. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that me in this extreme state of obsession within my mind, I do not even realize it, because I have become so used to it and so accustomed to it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for many years and throughout all these years , still the exact same programs, patterns and systems are coming through within my mind. And the majority of what preoccupies my mental processes has been relationships, money, sex, and the relationships was also more expanded into a personal relationship where something had happened that I couldn't let go of and keep on thinking about.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not listen and apply the practical solution to stop and get free from all obsessions and possessions

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to very rarely actively took the step of doing the effective, constant, consistent writing process, living process, change process.  Or sometimes I  actively take the step of doing the effective, constant, consistent writing process, but when I dont succeed to live the change on an obsession or possession, I stop all my processes for days, weeks or even months. So I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up on my process of birthing myself from the physical when I work on some obsessions or possessions  and not succeed to live a real change on it.

 I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to keep on cycling and recycling of the exact same thoughts, backchats, experiences.  And even when comes time when I do self forgiveness about that but the week after that, or a couple of days after that, what happens? I am still same state, same things over and over. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand then that this obsession system as to what is contributing to me not taking the hearing and the seeing and the realizations and understandings into actual living change. Why is that shift, that movement of self not happening?

 I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to  observe  that I we can clearly see that I do see what I need to do, the writing, the forgiveness, the living change, and even sharing the insights, realizations and perspectives right there, like everything is right there, but the moment I come to living the change, it's like I am being just shut down, the obsession system, reactivates again, and I just continue as is. it's like for that moment, the being is there, but and the obsession system kind of shifts and moves just enough or ever so slightly, but then again, everything goes, recycles back into the normal cycles.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that with much support and assistance  I will drop this obsession  at the end.  And when I will reflect back on all those moments of obsessions  and everything that I experienced , I will be like, but where was I? Why didn't I hear? And I could finally retain and absorb and process everything that was shared and shown and said in every which way.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that the main point of responsibility is within me as  individual to actually take that step to change. I have got to, in a way drop and let go of and to an extent, not even think about anymore the very things that's obsessed my mind for many years. But the consequence though, within this all is that with me as individual, it's now been years.

I forgive myself  that have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for not being able to drop obsessions for years.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that with all the years, the more those obsessions cycle and recycle over and over and over again, it starts in itself almost creating an entire mind consciousness system. And this is where me as individual is, where it's interesting that my mind obsession had gone so far that my very obsessions now has got its own patterns of thinking, of back-chatting, of reacting. A whole personality had been created from it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have only three things that's occupying my mind. So much obsessed and possessed  within that system that, it has gotten to the point where I was  at a phase or stage and a position of  wanting to just, walk away and stop everything. And I did actually walk away and stop everything things for months not seeing that's definitely the mind speaking.

 

I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that within this process that we're walking on a being awareness level and with having all the knowledge and information of the reason and the purpose of why this process is warped, there's no way that I would just walk away like that. That's more the mind consciousness system coming through and kind of in a way saying, I've taken over completely, taken control, possession, this being is done. But even at those last moments, I must say, I  have surprised myself. There's always, that level of awareness even in the most extensive possessions. So I am not going to give up.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that moment, that choice and that decision to actually change, no-one can make for me, no matter how long of a process I walk.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to  take care and tend to what I participate in my mind and especially for how long so that I can prevent this unnecessary possessions through obsession process. 

 I commit myself to start getting to know obsession. Have a look at how would I define it for myself? What comes up within me when I look at the word? What are the physical reference points that I can become aware of when obsession comes up with me so as to be able to identify it very quickly, easily and readily in my everyday life moments to, as soon as possible, direct it and change it? 

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