Day 55 : Insecurity part 3. Day 14 of 21.

I forgive myself for accepting allowing myself to not see realize and understand that Insecurity exist as Insecurity and Confidence polarity, so as I walked through insecurity as the negative of this polarity, I have to walk through the positive of this polarity and that is confidence.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize that confidence is going to be a little bit more tricky in a way because the mind likes to play tricks on us if I will when it comes to something I have attached a positive value to. And confidence is one of those examples where many would for example think but what's wrong with confidence, confidence is good it assists and supports me within what I do or with who I am that activates my self-confidence but here also to consider that it's not so much a self-confidence as it is a experience of confidence within what I do or with who I am, it's not directly related to self to who I am so the confidence doesn't go from the within to the without it's more the without activates the confidence within which shows that it is thus a program or an energy that exists within self and furthermore within that what also defines it to be a program or an energy is because the confidence will only be accessed within a specific environment or with a specific person which means it's not who I am.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to redefine self-confidence because this is the key in relation to balancing this relationship between insecurity and confidence as it exists as a system within the mind so if I have a look at this particular system this polarity within confidence and insecurity it also represents how the mind consciousness system essentially use my natural beingness expression meaning the correction of this entire polarity of confidence and insecurity would be self-confidence so if I  reverse engineer this whole system this polarity system it's I can say that self-confidence would be my natural beingness expression because it belongs to self  

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand that what happened is the self-confidence was  polarized to only confidence as an experience or a mind construct and then transformed into like a positive energy to balance the positive energy, insecurity was then created as the negative so as the opposite of how I would be if I was confident so here I can have a look at  the three stages of how our beingness expression was created into energy and within that the polarity of positive energy and negative energy.  If I also want to look at it in this way I can for example see firstly an expression of self-confidence and from there see an energy experience of confidence where the energy experience of confidence one would more be able to relate to in the context of where I can feel like my chest like stands up and stands out and I just feel stronger inside myself and kind of feel like invincible within what I do or with who I am so that's how self-confidence was changed into an energetic experience of confidence and then from the confidence flows out the insecurity which is the negative or bad or opposite of confidence that was created so this simply illustrates the difference between the mind and our beingness. 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand how to identify energies how to release myself from them so that I can find the actual inherent beingness expression that is existent within and behind it that the mind had used to essentially construct its own existence.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand how to identify confidence in my world in my reality.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to have a look at the most simplest things to also the more complex and start expanding my awareness even within my simple day-to-day living tasks where confidence can also emerge in the most subtlest of things like being confident to prepare food for myself throughout the day i mean in that I am confident that I can do it, how to do it and what to do and it's like it's natural, there's no reactions in relation to doing my every day-to-day things. And yet I would be insecure when it comes to preparing a completely new meal or a meal for a lot of people or a specific occasion  so here I can have a look at things that I do in my day-to-day life that I'm confident in but yet I am insecure within the same things but in a different context. I can have a look at my relationship to technology I mean the devices that I use that I am confident in using them because it's almost natural it's automatic yet take that those same or similar technologies more advanced in relationship to that I would feel more insecure see in my interactions with human beings  that I'm comfortable with I'm confident in who I am with them because it's like natural it's automatic yet when it comes to new people or people in certain positions or status or background or culture things like that there I then fall into the insecurity polarity so what i want to illustrate here is this relationship to confidence and insecurity in relation to our world and our reality where there's like this network of a confidence in relation to the things that we interact with on a daily basis or people that we interact with on a daily basis and insecurity one will more find is kind of in the world out there  in relation to things or people that I don't interact with on a daily basis 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand here that I can have a look at essentially drawing like two circles  I have the one circle which is my personal world and reality in that circle I can write the word confidence and then a circle surrounding the initial circle and that's more my outside world in the system there I'm more exposed to insecurity in my inferiority and fears in relation to people or things 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize that there is another dimension that also influence the confidence and insecurity polarity and it has a lot to do with my consciousness meaning that on a day-to-day basis with being exposed to the same people the same things  my  mind is constantly and continuously obviously stimulated  in other words my mind has already got a platform existent within it of knowing what my world is and who is in my world and who I am in relationship to them whereas in the outside world everything becomes a lot more unpredictable the mind does not have a platform in relation to having predictability if I will in who I'm going to meet what I'm going to be confronted with what challenges I'm going to face and things like that 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand that what the mind does the moment I access the outside world is it immediately will initiate  a resonant fear right where in that fear I will approach everything and everyone with a type of caution  and what I  don't realize within this is that that that fear that I go into in relation to the outside world is more consciousness wanting to delay my interaction with people or environments or situations or experiences and what  delay mean my interaction is if I am in fear  of what is going to happen out in the matrix or in the system or in my day I will in a way more think twice before I speak before I interact before I decide and that moment of where I'll think twice this gives the mind the time to integrate external reality or a person or an environment or a situation imprinted into itself first assess  what personality can be accessed here does this person have any particular value in relation to my mind are there any memories that I have in my mind in relation to this person or environment or situation what can be activated and initiated and all levels of the mind so it's like a massive process that happens and this is essentially why in relation to going into the world out there I am in a pre-existent state of insecurity in fact where I feel inferior to life out there to people out there and this one will also find most human beings can relate to that but others  for example go no i've got more of a confidence  i like going out there putting myself out there meeting people speaking to people putting myself in challenging situations not knowing what the day might bring for example now here we are getting into explaining this particular dimension of a confidence what happens here is that the human being's mind has got a shall we say more of a quantum speed at which to assess other human beings personalities or minds or situations and environments that I'll find myself in so essentially my mind can calibrate my relationships to my external environment a lot faster so the confidence that I actually experience in relation to the world out there is more my mind being confident in its ability to quantumly assess which personalities it needs to activate when and where and why such human beings minds as well interestingly enough is a lot more integrated into physical reality because if we go back to the illustration of the confidence and the insecurity the confidence system is like right here by the chest area by the shoulders it's like I'm moving more into the physical whereas the insecurity is more in the background in back by the spine so if I am in that confidence my mind is more in the physical which means it can physically observe human beings a lot faster and quicker as well  such human beings can for example very quickly see like kind of assess a person i and how they need to be with them or speak with them or behave around them so these quantum assessments is that's where the confidence comes in because the person doesn't need to be in fear to give the mind the time to assess they can just stand with the mind in the mind in the confidence and in that process they will more initiate their relationship to people initiate their relationship to people meaning they would be humans that determine the relationship to someone else they'll say this is who i am and this is who you are going to be with me whereas if I have people that are more in insecurity and fear they will kind of first wait and see who the other person is or how the other person is and then kind of in that process get a feel for them and then kind of slowly decide how they're going to speak and behave or interact so this confidence and insecurity polarity creates two different types of people in this world those that determine their relationship to others which is the more ones that go into confidence and then those that have others determine who they are which is my more insecure individuals that exist in fear