Day 58 : Confidence part 2. Day 17 of 21.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand t how I am going to change within myself and my living when releasing myself from the confidence and insecurity polarity and changing those relationships within myself and my world where I access insecurity and confidence to a self-confidence.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to have a look at a redefinition of self-confidence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that if I have a look at the polarity of confidence insecurity, I should essentially at this stage , have a platform for myself of knowing when and where in my world and reality I access confidence and when insecurity.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to change those polarity points and the relationships that were connected to them, to a self-confidence.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to have an equal starting point of self-confidence in all the relationships that were connected to confidence and insecurity.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that if I have a look at the confidence experience and again here to emphasize the words confidence experience. It was when I would access within my minds the confidence construct, the actual system platform that was in the chest area and the moment my beingness enter into that confidence construct it would resonate and then create an experience as though I am confident within myself.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that self-confidence is going to be grounding more into physical living participation that I have to see realize and understand that the self-confidence comes from my consistency within my physical application. In other words let's say that I had for example a confidence in interacting with people in my work environment whether. So in a more of a working environment my relationships with people was a lot more confident in my experience but then in the other polarity I had an insecurity when it came to relationships with family and some friends or acquaintances where in those particular environments there was insecurity which is obviously in itself quite odd because in both polarities I am interacting with the same thing which is people a person and yet in my world that polarity exists of confidence and insecurity. Now I want to stabilize the relationships to the self-confidence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that often if I have a look at the confidence polarity and start with the confidence polarity, already what is existent within the confidence polarity is a framework of my physical participation my physical interaction what it is that I do when I am in relationship to others in my work environment. I am a lot more natural and comfortable and assertive and there is essentially I can have a look at a trust within who I am and what I do and how I do it yet if I then have a look at the insecurity polarity what is non-existent within there is that I don't have a trust within myself I don't have a natural or comfortable expression within what I do and who I am and how I behave and things like that it's like an insecurity all of that is compromised.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that what I can use in the redefinition of self-confidence is the platform or the framework of what was already created within the confidence experience which is a trust and a consistency a comfortableness and naturalness within who I am and what I do and how I interact. So essentially all that is needed within the confidence polarity is the self-forgiveness process in relation to the experience of confidence where all I have to realize there is that I don't need the experience of confidence to be self-confident because my self-confidence comes within that consistency comfortability and naturalness and trust within who I am and what I do which is already existent within the relationships of where the confidence experience came up where I can still do what I do and be who I am without the confidence experience. So the only polarity where the more extensive correction is needed is within the insecurity polarity.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that within the polarity of insecurity I need to establish these words trust comfortable natural and consistent.
So I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to open up this particular dimension and have a look at my insecurity polarity and towards who or what within my world I had accessed the reaction of insecurity. From there I have a look at where I have already written out for myself or listed for myself what thoughts come up, what fears, what projections, what imaginations but within that I need to open up the next point which is why don't I trust yourself when I am with that person or in that situation? Why am I not comfortable? Why am I not natural? Why am I not consistent? And for most part I will find what is interfering with all of those expressions is simply what comes up in my mind.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand that the practical application process that I have to focus on now that I have walked through the insecurity construct more in writing and self-forgiveness I have now to do it within real time living action.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand that if I take the insecurity example of being with family and friends and if I notice that what is pulling me into the insecurity construct when I am with a particular family member is like seeing them in my mind as superior and always waiting for them to point out something that's like wrong with me or that where I've disappointed them or where I didn't live up to their expectations and things like that. So What I have to do here is to establish a self-confidence is I need to be confident within who I am within myself because what I'm doing in my mind with insecurity and putting other people into my mind is I'm breaking down myself inside myself and this I've got to see realize and understand that I am doing it inside my own mind. That mean other people out there doesn't have these massive big helmets that can project them into my mind and simulate themselves and talk to me inside my own mind and have all those conversations and imaginations and projections and create all the reactions inside me. I'm doing it to myself so I have to make that decision and commitment within myself to not break down and compromise or sabotage my own self-confidence the confidence within who I am. So to do this I then have a look at where I am making the relationship to others more personal inside my mind. More personal meaning where I personally attack myself with simulating others in my mind like with the parents not living up to their expectations fears of what the parents could say or when parents or siblings when I communicate with them and they're doing funny gestures with their eyes or their body language and I try and read too much into it type thing so and then my mind can run off with me as well in that context didn't they like what I just said or they're saying that they're happy and satisfied but it didn't look like that it seems like they're not saying everything showing everything and those type of conversations and projections inside my mind. So what I want to do in real time within those moments is speak a quick self-forgiveness statement within the context of forgiving myself or in that moment projecting another human in my mind and breaking myself down inferiorizing myself limiting myself sabotaging myself and reaffirm recommit to my self-confidence meaning to who I am what I stand for the only individual essentially that should be critical in my mind about me is myself.
In other words I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that I should for myself establish that process of a self-agreement of who I am what I do why I do it where I'm going with my life how I'm getting there what I need to work on within my mind within my process within my relationships to establish that particular future within my life and living experience. Because if I've got that foundation of who I am and why I am and what I do that is where my self-confidence is going to come through because I can then be critical about myself what do I mean by that I can then see for myself when I am veering off of my own path or where I'm falling or where I'm making mistakes, and then I can assist and support myself to put some fire under my own arse and get up and change and get moving. But instead of me establishing such a relationship with myself, I tend to project my insecurities and fears and worries and concerns and stresses onto others in my mind and that's not really assisting and supporting at all because I then more create this attack toward myself in my own mind from others which doesn't make sense so the only thing that that entire process contributes to or creates is keeping me within an insecurity inside my mind right.
I commit myself to take the first step that is the self agreement
I commit myself to find out who I am right now
I commit myself to find out where I stand with myself my own process my own mind my relationships in my world and this is all of them and the relationships with people the relationships with my job profession career future meaning my physical world so that I can from there assess for myself what needs to change where do I need to specify myself perfect myself stand up more apply myself more where is my mind interfering sabotaging compromising and with having that map for myself stand then knowing where needs changing and then I walk into my world every single day and I apply those changes I live those changes. I mean am I then going to be overly concerned about what others think of me what others say about me I mean it's the only reason for most part why other people mostly exist in my mind is because I'm not occupying my own mind my own bodies and so therefore I'm allowing more of the outside world to penetrate my mind and have opinions and ideas and perceptions about me because I don't have that foundation within myself within who I am so this is also a cross-reference that I can use for myself if I am overly concerned in my mind about what others think about what others say or might say or could say or didn't say or should say or kind of secretly did or say, where they do the gestures and behaviors and mannerisms and my mind starts running off with me, I must know that my platform and starting point and commitment of who I am what I am why I am where I'm going is not effective enough and I'm not living and applying that within my world and my reality because the mind goes uh hello hello hello anyone in here nope all right so and it will take other people in my world and put them in my mind because there's space it's not being occupied so the mind consciousness system is going to use it so when this happens it's not to take it personally within myself but use it as a a very practical cross-reference then I simply go back to my platform my starting point and work more on the who I am why I am where I'm going what I need to do where I need to go what relationships I need to develop and or change. I mean I know myself very well because I'm with myself all of the time so I'll find doing this platform this map will actually be exceptionally easy and I'll very much surprise myself about how much detail in fact exists .
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that I've essentially have a decision to make it's more of the question of what am I waiting for? I know what it feels like having other people in my head it is not a lot of fun it just essentially validates personalities acceptances and allowances thought patterns reaction patterns and things like that. That's how the mind uses these type of projections it's like I am speaking to my own personality systems in my mind there's no directive principle there's no change and once I had done this first step of placing this platform for myself, I then start walking my world in my reality.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that by doing this platform that now is not miraculously all my insecurities are just going to go away and disappear like the moment my mind sees that I've now got this platform it like has this big fight and the insecurities just disappear and go away and run away. Deep into the darkness of my mind doesn't work like that so what I need to do then is when I have my world mapped out and within that obviously my relationships of insecurity I need to have definitive commitment statements for myself that I can speak to remind myself that my focus is on who I am what I stand by and what I live and what I'm doing. Because another cross-reference that I can use is that when people ask me questions for example and I go into a reaction of insecurity what does that mean it shows that whatever question they're asking I don't yet have a self-confidence within because I'm not living or applying or standing by the answer or solution to that question so again when in that context I react in insecurity I simply use it as a cross-reference like oh dear they asked me a question i'm going into insecurity that means i'm not yet standing by this point i'm not yet living this point I am not yet this point within who I am so then for that moment do a quick forgiveness statement within myself um just something like :
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to in this moment react in insecurity to the question as I see realize and understand that I'm not yet standing as the living example of the solution or answer to this question. And then I simply in the moment answer it as best as possible but now I've got a feedback point for myself in what it is that I'm not yet self-confident about. So there is that difference illustrated between a confidence experience and a self-confidence.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand that confidence experience and self-confidence is worlds apart in if I have a look at what process is really involved with establishing a self-confidence who i am in fact that I can stand by live by and that is constant because in that having those expressions of knowing that I am confident within who I am I will have that natural emergence of trust within myself and I mean that is a self-trust that will be unbreakable in a way. Unbreakable meaning that that's like a trust that substantiates me that or more that complements who I am what I live and what you stand by meaning compliment is that it becomes like a substance within myself that really strengthens me and that will assist and support me to be able to stand in challenges with other human beings.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that we tend to do this to each other within reality like the the challenges that we bring to each other had more been to activate the mind or to break each other down or to diminish each other or limit each other in some way or another. And if I have a look at the world out there and my interactions with other human beings, how many of the conversations are actually assisting and supporting are really deep and intimate and real really connect with me and are really in depth? like it doesn't exist, we all have these little comments and remarks and snide comments and reactions toward each other and gossiping and things like that those would be for example challenges and if I am in insecurity within myself I'm going to allow all of that to keep me in my mind whereas if I stand by self-confidence and I focus on myself my life my future and relationships and I keep at it constantly and consistently there will be a trust within myself that when such challenge is coming to my world I'll simply be able to like just dust it off ever so nicely from my shoulders because it will just be like these little puffs of smoke that like comes out of human beings mouths that will not have any effect on me whatsoever.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that the practical application steps and dimensions within confidence experience and self-confidence that I have to focus on is the the confidence experience I am essentially done. That mean I can even where I did access the confidence experience see if there were any insecurities even in that work environment that I suppressed, because I was all high and mighty on the confidence experience horse in the mind where if I let go of the experience and I simply do what I do and how I do it I might find that there were even insecurities hidden within that work environment and then in my general environment where I identified insecurities there I want to do the first step of first mapping it all out I can stand self-confident within who I am and when any insecurities come I simply forgive use it as a cross-reference for myself of where I'm not standing by myself enough.
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I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to have a look at a redefinition of self-confidence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that if I have a look at the polarity of confidence insecurity, I should essentially at this stage , have a platform for myself of knowing when and where in my world and reality I access confidence and when insecurity.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to change those polarity points and the relationships that were connected to them, to a self-confidence.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to have an equal starting point of self-confidence in all the relationships that were connected to confidence and insecurity.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that if I have a look at the confidence experience and again here to emphasize the words confidence experience. It was when I would access within my minds the confidence construct, the actual system platform that was in the chest area and the moment my beingness enter into that confidence construct it would resonate and then create an experience as though I am confident within myself.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that self-confidence is going to be grounding more into physical living participation that I have to see realize and understand that the self-confidence comes from my consistency within my physical application. In other words let's say that I had for example a confidence in interacting with people in my work environment whether. So in a more of a working environment my relationships with people was a lot more confident in my experience but then in the other polarity I had an insecurity when it came to relationships with family and some friends or acquaintances where in those particular environments there was insecurity which is obviously in itself quite odd because in both polarities I am interacting with the same thing which is people a person and yet in my world that polarity exists of confidence and insecurity. Now I want to stabilize the relationships to the self-confidence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that often if I have a look at the confidence polarity and start with the confidence polarity, already what is existent within the confidence polarity is a framework of my physical participation my physical interaction what it is that I do when I am in relationship to others in my work environment. I am a lot more natural and comfortable and assertive and there is essentially I can have a look at a trust within who I am and what I do and how I do it yet if I then have a look at the insecurity polarity what is non-existent within there is that I don't have a trust within myself I don't have a natural or comfortable expression within what I do and who I am and how I behave and things like that it's like an insecurity all of that is compromised.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that what I can use in the redefinition of self-confidence is the platform or the framework of what was already created within the confidence experience which is a trust and a consistency a comfortableness and naturalness within who I am and what I do and how I interact. So essentially all that is needed within the confidence polarity is the self-forgiveness process in relation to the experience of confidence where all I have to realize there is that I don't need the experience of confidence to be self-confident because my self-confidence comes within that consistency comfortability and naturalness and trust within who I am and what I do which is already existent within the relationships of where the confidence experience came up where I can still do what I do and be who I am without the confidence experience. So the only polarity where the more extensive correction is needed is within the insecurity polarity.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that within the polarity of insecurity I need to establish these words trust comfortable natural and consistent.
So I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to open up this particular dimension and have a look at my insecurity polarity and towards who or what within my world I had accessed the reaction of insecurity. From there I have a look at where I have already written out for myself or listed for myself what thoughts come up, what fears, what projections, what imaginations but within that I need to open up the next point which is why don't I trust yourself when I am with that person or in that situation? Why am I not comfortable? Why am I not natural? Why am I not consistent? And for most part I will find what is interfering with all of those expressions is simply what comes up in my mind.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand that the practical application process that I have to focus on now that I have walked through the insecurity construct more in writing and self-forgiveness I have now to do it within real time living action.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand that if I take the insecurity example of being with family and friends and if I notice that what is pulling me into the insecurity construct when I am with a particular family member is like seeing them in my mind as superior and always waiting for them to point out something that's like wrong with me or that where I've disappointed them or where I didn't live up to their expectations and things like that. So What I have to do here is to establish a self-confidence is I need to be confident within who I am within myself because what I'm doing in my mind with insecurity and putting other people into my mind is I'm breaking down myself inside myself and this I've got to see realize and understand that I am doing it inside my own mind. That mean other people out there doesn't have these massive big helmets that can project them into my mind and simulate themselves and talk to me inside my own mind and have all those conversations and imaginations and projections and create all the reactions inside me. I'm doing it to myself so I have to make that decision and commitment within myself to not break down and compromise or sabotage my own self-confidence the confidence within who I am. So to do this I then have a look at where I am making the relationship to others more personal inside my mind. More personal meaning where I personally attack myself with simulating others in my mind like with the parents not living up to their expectations fears of what the parents could say or when parents or siblings when I communicate with them and they're doing funny gestures with their eyes or their body language and I try and read too much into it type thing so and then my mind can run off with me as well in that context didn't they like what I just said or they're saying that they're happy and satisfied but it didn't look like that it seems like they're not saying everything showing everything and those type of conversations and projections inside my mind. So what I want to do in real time within those moments is speak a quick self-forgiveness statement within the context of forgiving myself or in that moment projecting another human in my mind and breaking myself down inferiorizing myself limiting myself sabotaging myself and reaffirm recommit to my self-confidence meaning to who I am what I stand for the only individual essentially that should be critical in my mind about me is myself.
In other words I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that I should for myself establish that process of a self-agreement of who I am what I do why I do it where I'm going with my life how I'm getting there what I need to work on within my mind within my process within my relationships to establish that particular future within my life and living experience. Because if I've got that foundation of who I am and why I am and what I do that is where my self-confidence is going to come through because I can then be critical about myself what do I mean by that I can then see for myself when I am veering off of my own path or where I'm falling or where I'm making mistakes, and then I can assist and support myself to put some fire under my own arse and get up and change and get moving. But instead of me establishing such a relationship with myself, I tend to project my insecurities and fears and worries and concerns and stresses onto others in my mind and that's not really assisting and supporting at all because I then more create this attack toward myself in my own mind from others which doesn't make sense so the only thing that that entire process contributes to or creates is keeping me within an insecurity inside my mind right.
I commit myself to take the first step that is the self agreement
I commit myself to find out who I am right now
I commit myself to find out where I stand with myself my own process my own mind my relationships in my world and this is all of them and the relationships with people the relationships with my job profession career future meaning my physical world so that I can from there assess for myself what needs to change where do I need to specify myself perfect myself stand up more apply myself more where is my mind interfering sabotaging compromising and with having that map for myself stand then knowing where needs changing and then I walk into my world every single day and I apply those changes I live those changes. I mean am I then going to be overly concerned about what others think of me what others say about me I mean it's the only reason for most part why other people mostly exist in my mind is because I'm not occupying my own mind my own bodies and so therefore I'm allowing more of the outside world to penetrate my mind and have opinions and ideas and perceptions about me because I don't have that foundation within myself within who I am so this is also a cross-reference that I can use for myself if I am overly concerned in my mind about what others think about what others say or might say or could say or didn't say or should say or kind of secretly did or say, where they do the gestures and behaviors and mannerisms and my mind starts running off with me, I must know that my platform and starting point and commitment of who I am what I am why I am where I'm going is not effective enough and I'm not living and applying that within my world and my reality because the mind goes uh hello hello hello anyone in here nope all right so and it will take other people in my world and put them in my mind because there's space it's not being occupied so the mind consciousness system is going to use it so when this happens it's not to take it personally within myself but use it as a a very practical cross-reference then I simply go back to my platform my starting point and work more on the who I am why I am where I'm going what I need to do where I need to go what relationships I need to develop and or change. I mean I know myself very well because I'm with myself all of the time so I'll find doing this platform this map will actually be exceptionally easy and I'll very much surprise myself about how much detail in fact exists .
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that I've essentially have a decision to make it's more of the question of what am I waiting for? I know what it feels like having other people in my head it is not a lot of fun it just essentially validates personalities acceptances and allowances thought patterns reaction patterns and things like that. That's how the mind uses these type of projections it's like I am speaking to my own personality systems in my mind there's no directive principle there's no change and once I had done this first step of placing this platform for myself, I then start walking my world in my reality.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that by doing this platform that now is not miraculously all my insecurities are just going to go away and disappear like the moment my mind sees that I've now got this platform it like has this big fight and the insecurities just disappear and go away and run away. Deep into the darkness of my mind doesn't work like that so what I need to do then is when I have my world mapped out and within that obviously my relationships of insecurity I need to have definitive commitment statements for myself that I can speak to remind myself that my focus is on who I am what I stand by and what I live and what I'm doing. Because another cross-reference that I can use is that when people ask me questions for example and I go into a reaction of insecurity what does that mean it shows that whatever question they're asking I don't yet have a self-confidence within because I'm not living or applying or standing by the answer or solution to that question so again when in that context I react in insecurity I simply use it as a cross-reference like oh dear they asked me a question i'm going into insecurity that means i'm not yet standing by this point i'm not yet living this point I am not yet this point within who I am so then for that moment do a quick forgiveness statement within myself um just something like :
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to in this moment react in insecurity to the question as I see realize and understand that I'm not yet standing as the living example of the solution or answer to this question. And then I simply in the moment answer it as best as possible but now I've got a feedback point for myself in what it is that I'm not yet self-confident about. So there is that difference illustrated between a confidence experience and a self-confidence.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand that confidence experience and self-confidence is worlds apart in if I have a look at what process is really involved with establishing a self-confidence who i am in fact that I can stand by live by and that is constant because in that having those expressions of knowing that I am confident within who I am I will have that natural emergence of trust within myself and I mean that is a self-trust that will be unbreakable in a way. Unbreakable meaning that that's like a trust that substantiates me that or more that complements who I am what I live and what you stand by meaning compliment is that it becomes like a substance within myself that really strengthens me and that will assist and support me to be able to stand in challenges with other human beings.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that we tend to do this to each other within reality like the the challenges that we bring to each other had more been to activate the mind or to break each other down or to diminish each other or limit each other in some way or another. And if I have a look at the world out there and my interactions with other human beings, how many of the conversations are actually assisting and supporting are really deep and intimate and real really connect with me and are really in depth? like it doesn't exist, we all have these little comments and remarks and snide comments and reactions toward each other and gossiping and things like that those would be for example challenges and if I am in insecurity within myself I'm going to allow all of that to keep me in my mind whereas if I stand by self-confidence and I focus on myself my life my future and relationships and I keep at it constantly and consistently there will be a trust within myself that when such challenge is coming to my world I'll simply be able to like just dust it off ever so nicely from my shoulders because it will just be like these little puffs of smoke that like comes out of human beings mouths that will not have any effect on me whatsoever.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that the practical application steps and dimensions within confidence experience and self-confidence that I have to focus on is the the confidence experience I am essentially done. That mean I can even where I did access the confidence experience see if there were any insecurities even in that work environment that I suppressed, because I was all high and mighty on the confidence experience horse in the mind where if I let go of the experience and I simply do what I do and how I do it I might find that there were even insecurities hidden within that work environment and then in my general environment where I identified insecurities there I want to do the first step of first mapping it all out I can stand self-confident within who I am and when any insecurities come I simply forgive use it as a cross-reference for myself of where I'm not standing by myself enough.
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