Day 85 : Why I’m Starting Again

 I’m Starting Again

It’s been months since I posted here.
I’ve wanted to come back many times, but there was always a voice in my mind:
“You’re not ready. You’ve failed. People will judge you.”

But today I choose something different.
I choose to show up as I am — not perfect, not finished, but real.

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I’ve Walked Through Patterns

Emotional patterns. Addictions. Highs and lows.
Moments of strength — and moments of giving up.

But even in the darkest times, a part of me was still breathing, still watching, still wanting to understand.
Still choosing to continue.

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What Changed?

Lately, I realized something:
I don’t need to be perfect to write.
Writing is how I support myself. It helps me see what I’ve accepted and allowed — and what I can change.

This blog is not about showing success.
It’s about showing up, again and again, as I walk my process.

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Self-Forgiveness I’m Living Now

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide who I am in fear of judgment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I must be “healed” before I can share.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my journey to others instead of walking my own.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delay sharing what I write out of fear, instead of realizing that sharing is supporting myself as I support others to see that change is possible.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see failure as a reason to give up, instead of seeing it as part of learning to stand.

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Self-Correction Statements

When and as I notice myself hesitating to write or share due to fear of judgment, I stop and breathe.
I realize that writing is not about impressing others — it’s about self-support and self-honesty.
I do not need to expose everything to be real. I direct what I share within my self-honest boundaries.
I embrace writing as a space to bring clarity, not perfection.

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Self-Commitment Statements

I commit myself to write and share my journey in the way that supports me to remain stable, honest, and consistent.

I commit myself to use this blog as a reflection tool — not for validation, but for self-clarity.

I commit myself to walk through fear by showing up again and again, one word at a time.

I commit myself to honor my timing, and to write even when it’s uncomfortable — not because I must, but because I choose to.

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What’s Next?

I’ll continue sharing what I’m realizing, changing, and living.
I won’t share everything — but I’ll share truthfully within what I’m comfortable with.

This blog is my way of taking responsibility and supporting my consistency.
If it supports you too — that’s a bonus.

Thank you for reading.

— Radouane