Day 92 :Facing Emptiness: The Fear of Mind Death

Facing Emptiness: The Fear of Mind Death


In my process of self-discovery, I realized something very important: the fear of emptiness is not really about emptiness itself — it is about the fear of the mind dying.

Whenever I stop participating in thoughts, distractions, and the constant energy of the mind, there is a moment of silence. Instead of peace, what often comes up is panic, urges, and restlessness. Suddenly my mind pushes me toward doing something, anything, just to escape the silence.

Why? Because the mind consciousness system survives through energy. When I stop feeding it, it feels like it’s “dying.” And then, in its survival instinct, it creates thoughts and urges that push me to break the silence and give it more fuel.

This was a powerful realization for me:

  • The emptiness I feared was never dangerous.
  • The “death” I was afraid of was not my death, but the death of the mind’s control over me.
  • Beyond the mind, I remain here, as life, as breath.

Every time I give in to the urge to escape silence, I am choosing to keep the mind alive at the cost of my self-direction. But every time I stay, breathe, and allow the emptiness, I give myself the chance to discover who I am beyond thoughts, beyond fear, beyond survival.

Walking through this fear is not easy. The mind resists, because it does not want to lose its place as the master of my life. But step by step, with patience and self-honesty, I can transform my relationship with emptiness — from something I run away from, into a doorway to presence, stability, and real self-trust.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear emptiness, believing it is something dangerous, when in fact emptiness is simply the absence of mind energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the silence of my mind, because I connected it to the idea of death, instead of realizing it is the death of the mind’s control, not my death as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create urges, distractions, and projections when facing emptiness — in order to escape and feed the mind system with energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I stop the mind, I will lose myself, instead of realizing that I remain here as breath, stable, alive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep escaping into stimulation, instead of facing the fear of emptiness and discovering who I am without the mind.

Self-Correction

When and as I notice myself going into fear of emptiness or fear of mind death, I stop and breathe.

I realize that what I fear is not emptiness itself, but the mind’s loss of control, and that this fear is simply a sign that I am standing at the doorway to real self-living.

I realize that urges, projections, and distractions are strategies of the mind to survive, and I no longer need to give them power.

Therefore, I commit myself to remain here with breath, allowing emptiness, and to practice standing in silence without running away.

Self-Commitment

I commit myself to embrace emptiness as an opportunity to meet myself beyond thoughts, energy, and mind control.

I commit myself to remind myself daily that I am not the mind — I am here as life, and the mind’s “death” is not my death.

I commit myself to stop escaping into distractions when I face silence, and instead to use those moments to stabilize myself in presence.

I commit myself to walk this process of transforming my relationship with emptiness from fear into trust, stability, and living self-expression.


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