Day 101 : The Illusion of Rest: How I Reclaimed My Energy from Social Media


For a long time, I believed that rest meant sitting back, watching something online, scrolling, or falling asleep with a video playing in the background.

It felt like rest — my body stopped moving, my mind felt entertained, and I called it “relaxing.”

But when I started observing myself more deeply, especially through the process of self-awareness and self-forgiveness, I began to see what was really happening.

From 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. today, I was scrolling through Facebook, watching couple videos and movie cut scenes. I smiled, I felt “relaxed,” but when I looked closer, I saw I was escaping. I wasn’t resting — I was distracting myself from the fear, from the emptiness that comes when I stop stimulating my mind.

The same pattern showed up every night before sleep. I used to watch chess videos, thinking they helped me calm down and fall asleep. But now I see that what I called “relaxing my mind” was actually feeding my mind — filling it with thoughts, analysis, and information. My body wasn’t resting; it was waiting for my mind to stop.

True rest begins when the body can finally breathe — when there’s no stimulation, no story, no energy movement. Just me, here, in my physical body.

Self-Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that rest means watching social media or YouTube, instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that real rest happens when I am here, in my body, breathing, and present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate relaxation with stimulation — with screens, sounds, colors, and external movement — instead of realizing that real relaxation begins when I stop following the mind’s movement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I deserve to rest through distraction, instead of realizing that I can rest through presence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to watch chess videos before sleeping, believing they helped me relax, when in fact I was feeding my mind’s need for activity and avoiding facing the silence and stillness of being here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear silence and emptiness, to fear being alone with myself, and so to use videos and mental activity to fill that space — not realizing that the silence I feared is where I meet myself as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define relaxation as something I do to forget, instead of something I live to reconnect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty after wasting hours watching videos, instead of seeing that guilt itself is another form of mental movement — and that real change happens when I stand up and direct myself physically.

Self-Corrective Application

When and as I see myself wanting to rest by opening social media, YouTube, or any form of stimulation, I stop and breathe.
I realize that this is the mind’s version of rest — not the body’s.

I commit myself to redefine rest as being here, breathing, feeling the weight of my body, and allowing myself to slow down without needing to consume something.

When and as I notice the desire to play a video before sleep, I stop and breathe.
I realize that this desire comes from the fear of silence and the mind’s addiction to energy and movement.

I commit myself to support my body in real rest — to breathe slowly, release the day’s tension, and fall asleep as the living word of peace.

I commit myself to live rest as a physical decision, not a mental reaction.
I commit myself to make rest an act of self-respect — not escape.

Living the Word “Rest”

To live “rest” is to bring myself back to my body.
It is not about escaping the world, but about returning home — to the place where I am one and equal with my breath.

Each time I choose to be here, to breathe, to stop the endless scrolling and watching,
I reclaim my self-authority.
I no longer need images or sounds to soothe me — I can rest within myself.


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