Day 10 : Living in regret part 2

 This article is the second part of Day 9

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within the regret of bad habits Giving so much attention and attachment to those acts and believing that I am a failure and a mistake because of my past bad habits and behaviors.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within the regret of falling in bad habits/patterns, defining myself as failure and mistake when I get trapped in those habits that is not best for all life. Not seeing that living within regret of that, is participating in the mind where I can not see realize why I did make the decision to fall in those patterns?

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ask myself those questions of  :  Why I did it? I must of ..? I could of ... within the nature of self judgement self pity and victimization.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build on the energy of regret asking myself why I did that? I could stop and stand up before doing that. Why I did not stop and stand up? Why I give up on this act that is not best for all? And in asking those question I was judging myself, pitying myself and victimizing myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that the nature within those question is self judgment and the more I judge myself the more I was pitying and victimizing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize past mistakes and failures as point to manipulate myself into Energy, instead of utilizing the past as point to learn from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and punish myself as I access to those memories of mistakes and failures 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look back with self judgment at the memories where I accepted and allowed myself to fail and make mistakes.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that I can not effectively assist and support myself to change if I access memories within reaction of emotions  specially for example judgment because all I will then see within the memories within such moment are my reactions and how I am then compromising or limiting or bullying myself, so I can not in any way change or transform me or my relationship to the memory or look into those memories and see what I can learn

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to also within this moment when having look at what I have done feel like I don’t deserve to forgive myself, that I deserve to punish myself because of what I have done. I mean I can see what I did and what else there, but to punish myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand, how accepting and allowing such a believe that I deserve to punish myself, I deserve to victimize myself, pitting myself, and really going into depth of blame for what I have done and become, that with accepting and allowing such a believe, how can I ever give myself the permission to learn and from and through that learning in fact change so I commit myself to never accept and allow myself to do that again not to another and also not to myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that I have to step up within myself that I have absolutely to make that decision to directly face what I have done, to forgive myself for what I have done and really forgive myself for what I have done, to such an extent that I know within the self forgiveness that I am doing for myself in relationship to what I have done and become that I within and through that self forgiveness really change. Because then I can trust my forgiveness. I can trust my change. Transcend that point of believing that I need to punish myself, because punishment is not going to change me, I am not going to learn from it.  Understanding what I did, why I did it will assist and support me in fact to change and commit myself to not accept and allow myself to return to the same habit or behavior.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to look back at those memories, those regret and rather understand myself, face myself and really look into the nature of myself introspected, so that I can understand why I did it? And how I did it? because to see realize and understand that as long as I can see, as long as I investigate, as long as I understand those patterns, those mind constructs, those thoughts  patterns, those behaviors and the interconnections there of, that I can from there find a way to stop them, to change them, to become a better being.

Note : Most part of this article I did learned and take from  Sounding Self Forgiveness

TO BE CONTINUED