Day 16 : Depression

 

One of the most challenging emotion and state I faced in my life was Depression. The state when I loose the desire to live. The state where I don't care about LIFE. The state where I don't care about any person or thing It's like I become o zombie half dead making my physical body alive with minimal food and always entertaining the mind with movies, series, and games. This is the state where I get trapped in the mind and I become the mind. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go in this state of depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to loose the desire to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care about LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care about any person or thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become o zombie half dead making my physical body alive with minimal food and always entertaining the mind with games, series, and movies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get trapped in the mind. Becoming the mind. Becoming the energy of depression for many days.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not respond to the person that may assist and support me to get out from this state of depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get isolated and separated from people that care about me when I went to this state.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand why I went to this state of depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go in this state, whenever I face big challenge. Challenge where lot of things change in my life. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the mind and make a situation big challenge, thinking a lot about it. Thinking about the worst case scenario. Fearing what will come in the future because of this situation.And so I let my mind build and build on this situation until I become the energy of depression, pity, and sadness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and STOP the act of the mind when facing some situation. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to apply self honesty living as the breath when facing any situations or challenges.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to escape to this state of depression even when I have figure out the solution and the work and actions I need to take.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the trigger of this state of depression is THINKING or participating with emotions and feelings. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see , realize and understand that the moment I loose awareness of the breath and the physical, and I become the mind thinking or participating with emotions and feelings, that moment can trigger me to any state of the mind like depression, pity, sadness, ... So I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to STOP and breathe and stay the awareness of the breath and the physical whenever I see myself thinking or participating with emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted  and allowed myself to see realize and understand the consequences of getting into this state of depression. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see my responsibilities towards my family, others and this life.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it acceptable that others may suffer by the effect I cause while I am in this state of depression. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that at this moment, while I am in this state of depression, another is in a position that will improve if I act immediately and with sustained consistency till that which is best for all life is here in every way.

I commit myself to STOP and breathe and stay the awareness of the breath and the physical whenever I see myself thinking or participating with emotions and feelings.

I commit myself to STOP the mind whenever I see the mind building on a situation and making it a very big challenge. I commit myself to STOP and breath and get in physical actions instead of thinking and participating with feelings and emotions.

I commit myself to always respond to persons that can support and assist me if I get in this state of depression.

I commit myself to self honesty, self will, living here and now as the breath, birthing myself from the physical, until I become LIFE. All LIFE.

I commit myself to act immediately and with sustained consistency till that which is best for all life is here in every way.

I commit myself to investigate how the mind create this state and become the physical system that I may be prepared to never allow this to happen.

 I commit myself to understand and walk the time required to clear the space of me from all that pre occupied me to not be here as life as what is best for all life.