Day 40 : Playing games possession part 1

  What happened : 

I was facilitating and supporting a friend to understand the Subconscious mind Writing from the EQAFE  series Self Awareness Steps for the Elite  And  after finishing this session I get to an other meeting, and as I was waiting for the other person to show up , an unconscious pattern immediately show up and I start playing chess. The other person does not show up, and I stayed in this possession of playing chess for 1 hour and half.

That was not the first time, but I used to get in this possession sometimes for more than 6 hours.


What is the back chats in my forehead, background, and center of the head  I was having while experiencing this possession?

What did I think in my forehead ?

I am enjoying the game

let's win some matches

Ohh yest I won

I have to have a revanche

I am good at this game


What talk I did have about what I am experiencing.?

Oh I am wasting my time in this game instead on working on my goals

I am not advancing in this game as I keep the same rating and don't learn anything new

I have to stop playing like that


What justifications, excuses and reasons I did have? 

this game help me not feel loneliness

this game help me not feel annoyance

I forget about all emotions as I play this game


What reactions, emotions, feeling I did have while I was in this state?

excitement, pleasure, enjoyment


How my physical body respond ?

eyes, brain and arm very attentive and in alert


What triggers, symbols and impulses that activate this possessions?

 annoyance

 loneliness

 anger

waiting for chat responses 

killing time




What is the source and origin of  what triggered and activated within me?

deep feeling, and believe that I am not completet, not whole, I need a partner or an understanding and realization to be whole and complete.


What new word I should redefine and live  within that moments?

I am complete and whole.


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