Day 53 : Insecurity part 1. Day 12 of 21.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand that insecurity is not so much an emotion as it is a mind construct and what is a mind construct and why is insecurity a mind construct and not an emotion.And what is the difference between emotional and feeling energy and experiences produced within and as the mind consciousness system. 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand that emotional and feeling energy exists within my solar plexus area where once an emotion or feeling is activated in the energy rise up from my solar plexus into the rest of the mind and the physical body.

 I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand that emotional and feeling energy when I access that I am also only in fact experiencing it. In other words, if I have a look at my relationship to emotional and feeling energy can I at this stage yet define the substance of the energy, the nature of the energy? Meaning would I be able to actually stand in and as and with the energy? It's like for a moment I 'm becoming that energy to in detail describe what the energy in itself really feels like. What is its content, its structure, its nature, its substance? No, not yet because I am once the emotional and feeling energy activates the energy resonates and that resonance is what I am in fact experiencing. So the resonance is the experience of the energy. 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing that I am still in my mind separate from energy itself. That is why I cannot as of yet actually define and describe the energy within its own existence .

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to have a look  to first walk through my experience relationship to energy before I can get into the direct self-energy relationship.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to a look at how a mind construct also resonates and creates an experience. And have a look at the illustration in the image where  there is a circular formation with a net that's within it and also a center point. This circular formation exists within my back right at the back of my
back within the spine.  So in the center right in the center of my back along the spine I have this circular formation existing with the net within it and that center point. Then there is a pathway and that pathway is connected to a more structured formation that's within this illustration is represented by more of a rectangular shape. Now this formation is existent within the front of my physical body in the area.  So this structure as provided within the illustration exists in such a way where if I just have a look at referencing my own physical body it's like I have a rectangular box within my chest area and that box is connected with a pathway straight into my back by the spine where the circular formation is existent. Now these two points represent insecurity and confidence. The circular formation represents the mind construct of insecurity and the rectangular formation represents the mind construct of confidence. 

So within this context I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand that insecurity is an experience and confidence is an experience. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to to have a look at how this polarity plays out in relation to social contexts  where the moment one approach a group of people or certain people within my world and reality one tend to react in either insecurity or confidence.

 I forgive myself that for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand why and how it is that one going to an insecurity within myself when I'm approaching a group of people or certain people in my world and my reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in some instances be confident and other instances be insecure. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel confident in the job that I am doing in my particular profession but when it comes to relationships all of a suddent I'm overwhelmed with insecurity

 I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to understand  first and foremost is that both confidence and insecurity is a mind construct and an experience so in other words my confidence haven't in fact been real I've been keeping this polarity in my own mind in place by accepting and allowing confidence in some areas and insecurity in others 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see realize and understand  how to equalize all fields in my life that it doesn't exist or is maintained within this polarity of insecurity and confidence 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to have a look at the word insecurity or the word insecure and just separate in security in secure so what these two words are showing that's forming the word insecurity is that within insecurity there exists this perception that I am secure that there is security that I in a way feel protected 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to  have a look at a plain words of confidant  where in relationship to confidence I feel that I can  feel trusted or that I trust myself there's a relationship of trust existent within that so here if I  want to have a look at just the illustration again I have the word insecurity and this is related to feeling safe and protected and secure because obviously if I look at secure and security in this world in this reality it is often represented by   having all these protection and defense mechanisms either within and around my house or inside I feel secure  there's security and then   the word confidence which is also similar to confidant in a relationship to the mind where when I have a confidant I trust that particular something or someone that I can confide in.