Radouane's Journey to Life

Loneliness is an emotion and a construct, emphasizing its nature both as an internal experience and a manifestation in physical reality. Loneliness is described as a repetitive thought pattern within the mind, a construct that integrates into the body, producing the emotional experience of being alone.  Loneliness is deeply tied to human perceptions of relationships and connections with others, it is largely a mental and energetic experience rather than a physical one. The construct of loneliness is characterized by a dependency on external relationships for fulfillment and a sense of completeness. This dependency creates emotional experiences based on the number and nature of relationships one has, leading to feelings of being fulfilled when with others and feeling empty or lonely when alone. The illusion of fulfillment  comes from these relationships, showing that the mind's energetic responses, often drive this sense of completeness. Loneliness can lead to a form of self-ma...

 Today, I was invited by friends to have lunch, during which a friend brought up a football match. This friend asked me to search for the match and play it on my phone. Initially, I decided to watch only while eating and then return to my work. However, I ended up watching the entire match, spending an hour and a half that I had planned to use for work. During the match, I experienced emotions like excitement, especially when there were good results for the team we supported. I realized that, in this situation, I was influenced by the desire for approval and validation from my friends, engaging in the activity to fit in and be accepted. I also noted that I did not maintain self-awareness or breathe to keep myself grounded, allowing the excitement and emotional involvement to take over. This led me to neglect my responsibilities and not adhere to the boundaries I had initially set for myself. Reflecting on this, I see the importance of staying true to my commitments and being mindfu...

  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in despair, thinking and believing that nothing work, I can’t change,   everything is wrong and nothing will turn out . I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to don't want to do anything,  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how despair functions as a systemized energy designed to suppress my will and perseverance. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be aware of how I have positioned my consciousness and beingness into the lower dimensions of my mind and body when experiencing despair, feeling as though I am being sucked into a deep, dark hole within myself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the experience of despair, believing that I am powerless and incapable of finding stability or motivation to change my circumstances. I forgive myself that I ...

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to argue for my limitations by justifying why I cannot change or grow, instead of challenging myself to see beyond these perceived limitations.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the excuses and justifications I create in my mind are valid reasons to remain as I am, without questioning or investigating them further.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind my limitations, using them as a shield to avoid taking responsibility for my own potential and power to change.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blinded by the obviousness of my limitations, not realizing that they are constructed and maintained by my own thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear exploring the negative and dark aspects of my mind, thinking that they define me, rather than seeing ...

 Self-forgiveness is a powerful tool that I had traditionally understood as an internal process, something that I used within myself to address the thoughts, emotions, and patterns that emerged in my mind. For years, this internal journey with self-forgiveness was about writing and speaking my self-forgiveness statements, slowly integrating them into my daily life. When I encountered familiar thought patterns or reactions, I would pause, take a step back, and apply self-forgiveness either silently within myself or aloud, depending on the situation. This practice brought a sense of release, a way to manage the internal conflicts and take responsibility for my mind's creations. However, as I continued to walk this path, I began to realize that my self-forgiveness had become more about internal reflection than about real-time change. I was comfortable writing out my self-forgiveness, speaking it, and feeling the momentary relief that came with it. But I hadn’t fully embraced what it m...

### **Identifying the Problem** Over the past two days, I've noticed a pattern of behavior that has disrupted my focus and productivity. Despite having a plan for the day, including tasks related to work and preparing for my job interview, I found myself spending excessive amounts of time watching random videos on YouTube. These sessions were unplanned and interfered with my ability to achieve my goals. ### **Emotional Landscape** **Before Watching:** - **Tiredness:** At times, I felt physically or mentally drained, which made the idea of watching videos seem like a way to relax. - **Excitement:** Particularly with chess videos, I felt a surge of excitement and interest, which drew me into watching more. - **Procrastination:** There were moments when I used video-watching as a way to delay tasks I found challenging or intimidating. **During Watching:** - **Empathy and Sympathy:** Some videos elicited strong emotional reactions, making me feel connected to the content and invested i...

 Listen to  What is sex part  5 and 6 for context. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a mind consciousness system that is pre-programmed with specific life designs, personality manifestations, and experiences, believing that this is who I am and that I have no power to change or step out of it. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that unforeseen or unexpected events in my life are completely out of my control, not realizing that I have the capacity to direct myself in every moment. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be guided back into pre-programmed designs and personality manifestations by the mind consciousness system whenever I experience moments of realization or quantum time, instead of standing up and taking responsibility for my self-direction. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in time loops, where I continuously meet the same t...

 Tonight, I found myself reflecting on the connection I once had with a female partner through a daily mastermind session where we supported each other in staying connected with who we are, doing writing and self-forgiveness, and staying grounded in the physical. We had a routine of meeting every day, which served as a consistent anchor in our relationship. However, last week I didn't show up for the meeting, and as a result, we lost touch for more than thirteen days. As I thought about reconnecting with her tonight, I decided to send her a message and give her a call. To my disappointment, she didn’t respond to either. In that moment, I felt a sense of discomfort wash over me, a feeling that lingered and seemed to be tied to more than just the lack of response. Throughout the day, I noticed that my thoughts often drifted to her. I found myself frequently thinking about what I would say to her and what our interactions might be like. This pattern of thinking pointed to something de...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not capable of maintaining discipline, despite knowing that I have the power to decide who I am and who I want to be in every moment. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose sight of my plan to birth myself from the physical as life as what is best for all life  when faced with temptations and discomfort of saying no to those temptations, failing to connect with that version of myself in those critical moments. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on the immediate pain of saying no to temptation, rather than understanding that this momentary discomfort is necessary to protect and nurture my physical well-being and long-term goals. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the discomfort that discipline might bring, instead of embracing it as part of the process of becoming the being I truly want to be. I forgive myself that ...

Listen to  What is sex part 4 for context. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that consciousness is separate from who I am, creating a false sense of separation from reality and my true self. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the belief that consciousness is an entity on its own, independent of my being, thereby disempowering myself and relinquishing responsibility for my experiences. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive reality solely through the lens of consciousness, focusing only on its manifestations without investigating the underlying constructs, systems, and patterns that influence my experience. I forgive myself for neglecting to see the totality of reality, thereby limiting my understanding and awareness. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by the mind consciousness system, reacting automatically to situations instead of directing myself with awareness and inte...

  I've observed that my mind always counts the days when I don't fall into addictions. It feels like a trick of the mind to remind me of the addictions, making me think about them more often. This constant reminder can be frustrating and seems to draw my focus back to what I'm trying to avoid. I'm not sure how to address these particular thoughts or how to get rid of them. It feels like a cycle where the more I try not to think about the addiction, the more it comes to mind because of the day count. I wonder what the source of these thoughts is. It seems like my mind is using this counting as a way to keep the addiction present, almost like it's trying to sabotage my efforts. Perhaps it's a form of fear or insecurity, afraid of truly letting go of the addiction. Or maybe it's a habit, ingrained from years of giving in to these urges. Understanding the source might help me find a way to break free from this cycle. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing ...

Listen to What is sex part 1 2 and 3 for context.   I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the mind consciousness system's creation of picture manifestations, forms, and colors, interpreting reality through programs, symbols, codes, and numerics, rather than experiencing and understanding existence directly. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simplify my interactions and experiences by relying on the mind consciousness system's creation of shapes, colors, and energies, rather than engaging with the full depth of reality and existence. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become conditioned by the mind consciousness system's development and layering, solidifying my experience of reality and limiting my perception to what is interpreted and filtered through this system. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify with the mind consciousness system's metallic reson...